Real Talk with Raze - The Self-Awareness of Extracurricular Smangitude
First off...I'll address the elephant in the room.
I have cheated before.
Many times.
In hindsight, I'm not proud of this by any means. Plus, I won't drop this overthought list of justifications for the times that I've cheated, because I admittedly ALWAYS had the option of 'just leaving'. That wouldn't have always been EASY to do, or necessarily been the BEST thing to do for those around my relationship, but it's true. So, no matter what those reasons/justifications were for stepping out, it ultimately came down to me simply being selfish and doing what the f*ck I wanted, when I wanted, and fuck anyone else's feelings in the wake of those decisions.
...and I'm fine with that. Prolly makes me an asshole or something like that, but I don't really care. That's the man I was. That doesn't make me some silly heaux-babble thing like "a little boy" as many women like to fall back on, because trust me...I was doing MAN SH*T with every one of those ladies that weren't the lady I was supposed to be doing them with. I was a grown ass man, who made a decision that hurt or at very least sh*tted on the trust that had been built between me and the woman I was supposed to be committed to. *shrug moment*
So, with that said...
As it's been said over and over again since f*cking EVER...the biggest, most consistently typical, difference between men and women, is the Logic vs Emotion Nature. Men typically roll with data & strategy, while women typically with feels & intuition. That's not to say men don't feel, or that women don't strategize (one trip down random Instagram model's timeline and you'll see a metric ton of VERY strategically executed 'finessing' to prove that exception to the rule exists). It's simply an acknowledgement of a very fundamental difference in the way men and women operate, at a core level.
...and now that we're past the high school course on Mars vs Venus, I can get to why I'm typing this morning in the first place.
The utterly disrespectful "I don't know..." response.
Fellas, I know that when we get in our moods and our lady, for whatever reason, ain't presenting the poon-package the way we want/need in that particular moment...if at all. And then the blood in our minds gets to circulating other places and that leads us to start thinking with the brainless cranium that sits on the beanbag throne. And for some of us, we have something that most women are attracted to and equally loathesome of: P*ssy Options.
P*ssy Options are ultimately the prime killer of otherwise moderately to wholly unsatisfying relationships. The lack of PO's is really, in my opinion, the only thing that keeps a vast majority of those sub-par relationships & marriages in tact...because as that great Negro philosopher, Christopher Julius Rock III has pointed out before...
...and because of this absolute TRUTH, I and the many men like me, have stepped out when satisfaction at home wasn't delivered. And this brings me to my point...
NO MAN, walking this earth or who's days have long past, can possibly legitimately have respect for a woman if he claims he DOESN'T KNOW WHY HE CHEATED. Confront that man with all the evidence in the world. Own your own contribution to potentially why HE stepped out. None of it will matter...he'll just play the 'Tink-Tink' role and claim he has no idea why he did what he did with his thang-thang.
And, as a man...I'm here to call BULLSH*T.
A major part of being so logically driven, is this thing called Self Awareness. We think about every move we make, particularly those that have somethin to do with us getting p*ssy, and we scrutinize them. Then we go about 3-4 more levels deep with the scrutiny, just to be sure. We have a subconscious analytical system of statistical data which ultimately breaks down to two columns: Wins & Losses.
Every single time, I left the house or invited someone who wasn't my signif over to my place, I knew EXACTLY what I was doing and why. Even if I didn't necessarily have the direct intent of smang'n my guests, they certainly weren't being invited without the POSSIBILITY of that outcome being a serious likelihood.
EVERY F*CKING TIME.
...and that's not just me. Remember that strategy part I mentioned? Yeah, a large part of being a successful strategist is recognizing the Potential of Success for situations. When we consider ourselves an 8 (on a ten point scale) and we see a chick that we consider a 6 across the bar, we feel pretty damn good about our chances of scoring a mark in the win column. Obviously, if we see a chick we consider a 9 or above, those chances decline, in our minds. And beyond the constrictions of gender differences, it's human nature to be drawn to situations that beget the most returns for the least effort exerted.
So, depending on the circumstances, that 6 prolly bout to get a Penis Proposal. Also, this is why women placing ANY stock in THEIR perception of the woman a man cheated with's attractiveness is absolutely meaningless. Men typically cheat when it's conveniently available. It seriously takes a LOT for a man to go out of his way to cheat, because the more inconvenient or the greater the amount of deviation from normalcy, is required to score...the less interesting the possibility becomes.
SIDENOTE: There's probably a LOT of dudes out there who are cursing me for sharing this view into our collective psyche's but, to be honest, I don't really care. This is honestly more for me than it is for the women it may help in the long run.
There's this term, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" that is incredibly false...but it IS founded in a single truth: That first cheat is a gateway to being ultimately desensitized to future cheating. The REAL truth tho, is that if you know you're with a man who not necessarily cheated in the past (let's keep it real, 98% of us ALL have cheated on someone before, be it physically, mentally or emotionally), but is/was admittedly a definable CHEATER...your job in maintaining his attention WILL be significantly more tiresome than otherwise. Men who are or were cheaters, are most often men who attract options (aka the attention of women). So, in turn, if you deem that man is worth a relationship with, you assume the shared responsibility of keeping him at home.
I'm not saying this is 'fair', but as the saying goes ALL is fair, in Love and War.
Basically what I'm sayin is....two things....One, that it's a two way road of responsibility in keeping your high maintenance, shiny awesome dick at home. Two, and probably most importantly, don't EVER accept "I don't know" as a legitimate reason/excuse/response for why your man cheated. Trust me...he knows PRECISELY why he cheated. And him lying to you about it isn't to save you from the hurt of the truth, or to protect your feelings at all. It's so that he doesn't have to look in the mirror...and admit, that he knew exactly what he wanted to do, was planning to do, was going to do, and was doing....and what the f*ck he did....the entire time leading up to your conversation/confrontation about it.
WE ALL DO.
Because, logic and self awareness & sh*t.
Many times.
In hindsight, I'm not proud of this by any means. Plus, I won't drop this overthought list of justifications for the times that I've cheated, because I admittedly ALWAYS had the option of 'just leaving'. That wouldn't have always been EASY to do, or necessarily been the BEST thing to do for those around my relationship, but it's true. So, no matter what those reasons/justifications were for stepping out, it ultimately came down to me simply being selfish and doing what the f*ck I wanted, when I wanted, and fuck anyone else's feelings in the wake of those decisions.
...and I'm fine with that. Prolly makes me an asshole or something like that, but I don't really care. That's the man I was. That doesn't make me some silly heaux-babble thing like "a little boy" as many women like to fall back on, because trust me...I was doing MAN SH*T with every one of those ladies that weren't the lady I was supposed to be doing them with. I was a grown ass man, who made a decision that hurt or at very least sh*tted on the trust that had been built between me and the woman I was supposed to be committed to. *shrug moment*
So, with that said...
As it's been said over and over again since f*cking EVER...the biggest, most consistently typical, difference between men and women, is the Logic vs Emotion Nature. Men typically roll with data & strategy, while women typically with feels & intuition. That's not to say men don't feel, or that women don't strategize (one trip down random Instagram model's timeline and you'll see a metric ton of VERY strategically executed 'finessing' to prove that exception to the rule exists). It's simply an acknowledgement of a very fundamental difference in the way men and women operate, at a core level.
...and now that we're past the high school course on Mars vs Venus, I can get to why I'm typing this morning in the first place.
The utterly disrespectful "I don't know..." response.
Fellas, I know that when we get in our moods and our lady, for whatever reason, ain't presenting the poon-package the way we want/need in that particular moment...if at all. And then the blood in our minds gets to circulating other places and that leads us to start thinking with the brainless cranium that sits on the beanbag throne. And for some of us, we have something that most women are attracted to and equally loathesome of: P*ssy Options.
P*ssy Options are ultimately the prime killer of otherwise moderately to wholly unsatisfying relationships. The lack of PO's is really, in my opinion, the only thing that keeps a vast majority of those sub-par relationships & marriages in tact...because as that great Negro philosopher, Christopher Julius Rock III has pointed out before...
...and because of this absolute TRUTH, I and the many men like me, have stepped out when satisfaction at home wasn't delivered. And this brings me to my point...
NO MAN, walking this earth or who's days have long past, can possibly legitimately have respect for a woman if he claims he DOESN'T KNOW WHY HE CHEATED. Confront that man with all the evidence in the world. Own your own contribution to potentially why HE stepped out. None of it will matter...he'll just play the 'Tink-Tink' role and claim he has no idea why he did what he did with his thang-thang.
And, as a man...I'm here to call BULLSH*T.
A major part of being so logically driven, is this thing called Self Awareness. We think about every move we make, particularly those that have somethin to do with us getting p*ssy, and we scrutinize them. Then we go about 3-4 more levels deep with the scrutiny, just to be sure. We have a subconscious analytical system of statistical data which ultimately breaks down to two columns: Wins & Losses.
Every single time, I left the house or invited someone who wasn't my signif over to my place, I knew EXACTLY what I was doing and why. Even if I didn't necessarily have the direct intent of smang'n my guests, they certainly weren't being invited without the POSSIBILITY of that outcome being a serious likelihood.
EVERY F*CKING TIME.
...and that's not just me. Remember that strategy part I mentioned? Yeah, a large part of being a successful strategist is recognizing the Potential of Success for situations. When we consider ourselves an 8 (on a ten point scale) and we see a chick that we consider a 6 across the bar, we feel pretty damn good about our chances of scoring a mark in the win column. Obviously, if we see a chick we consider a 9 or above, those chances decline, in our minds. And beyond the constrictions of gender differences, it's human nature to be drawn to situations that beget the most returns for the least effort exerted.
So, depending on the circumstances, that 6 prolly bout to get a Penis Proposal. Also, this is why women placing ANY stock in THEIR perception of the woman a man cheated with's attractiveness is absolutely meaningless. Men typically cheat when it's conveniently available. It seriously takes a LOT for a man to go out of his way to cheat, because the more inconvenient or the greater the amount of deviation from normalcy, is required to score...the less interesting the possibility becomes.
SIDENOTE: There's probably a LOT of dudes out there who are cursing me for sharing this view into our collective psyche's but, to be honest, I don't really care. This is honestly more for me than it is for the women it may help in the long run.
 |
| I've learned over the years, that rings are basically magnets for chicks who don't GAF |
I'm not saying this is 'fair', but as the saying goes ALL is fair, in Love and War.
Basically what I'm sayin is....two things....One, that it's a two way road of responsibility in keeping your high maintenance, shiny awesome dick at home. Two, and probably most importantly, don't EVER accept "I don't know" as a legitimate reason/excuse/response for why your man cheated. Trust me...he knows PRECISELY why he cheated. And him lying to you about it isn't to save you from the hurt of the truth, or to protect your feelings at all. It's so that he doesn't have to look in the mirror...and admit, that he knew exactly what he wanted to do, was planning to do, was going to do, and was doing....and what the f*ck he did....the entire time leading up to your conversation/confrontation about it.
WE ALL DO.
Because, logic and self awareness & sh*t.
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