THE TENS - Phrases That Fail

Everybody uses slang terms and catch phrases these days. They've completely taken a stronghold of our daily vernacular, so deeply that we don't even realize when we're using them...they're just a part of the English language now.

But... although they may seem "cool" or at times, completely poignant...they often are just fucked up.

This is my take on a few...

1. Wifey - Lets be real here. The term wifey was made up to make unmarried, baby-momma types feel more important and less leavable than they actually are. It's hard and expensive to leave a WIFE. But it's pretty easy and pretty inexpensive to leave a wifey, QUICK. Plus, the payoff for creatively and disrespectfully leaving a wifey can be EPIC.

2. Hubby - Seriously, until you get a fkn marriage license, that dude is NOT your husband. I don't care if you got a ring, til ya'll say the "I Do's" none of that means SQUAT. Seriously, stop that shit.

3. "Come At Me Bro" - Anyone that actually LOSES a fight to someone that says this should forever be banished to the nether regions of human contact. If someone said this to ME b4 a fight, I would be far too stricken with uncontrollable laughter to even wanna fight anymore. I'd just walk away...it wouldn't be worth it.

4. Leak - Look, it's not a "leak" if YOU put your own fkn music out. It's called a RELEASE. You just call it a Leak bcuz it makes YOU feel better about the bullshit you just dropped on the world's pinkie toe.

5. Dro/Kush - Dear Hood Smoker, unless you got a "white boy plug", chances are HIGHLY slim that you've EVER truly smoked Dro or Kush. Here's another jewel, just cuz it's Hydroponically grown weed, that doesn't make it any more potent necessarily. It's just a growing technique. Dumbass.

6. "On My..." - People swear on everything these days. But, none of it really means anything either. People will swear on their "kids lives" just to get you to give them a pack of Spearmint gum and a bus pass, and lie the whole time str8 to your face. If someone says this to you, assume they're a liar and DON'T DO IT.

7. Swag/Swagger - Just stop.

8. Classic - People will call something classic not 2 minutes after they've seen/listened to it. Music or movies can't be considered classic til their time has passed and they STILL killin it. YEARS later. Please, chill wit that shit.

9. Bro - Don't fucking call me bro if you don't know ME and I don't know YOU. Seriously...

10. Nigga - It's not JUST for niggas anymore! Apparently I was the only nigga in the hood that had a problem with the Puerto Ricans and Mexicans callin niggas niggas. Look, If I can't call you a fucking Spic, or Kike, or Jap...you BETTER not call me a nigga. Unless you a fine as chick that I'm fuckin. Then you can call me whatever you want, cuz when my dick is in you, I'm gonna call YOU the worst shit I can think of. Fair is Fair.


- R.

IT'S FRIDAY B*TCHES!!!